Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Ramblin' Correspondence Dead

Regards
Best regards
Kind regards
Sincerely
Best wishes
Best
Take care

The above is a list of ways I’ve been signing e-mail messages to authors, reviewers, and publishers I correspond with in my new job. None of them feel like me. Here and there I catch sight of a printed e-mail:

Best,

Sara S.
Editorial Assistant, S____ M_______

It looks weird. It is weird. But "more later," "love," and "touch me" are obviously unacceptable. I usually mean "sincerely" when I use it; and I just don't say "take care" unless I mean it, but the others feel like I'm wearing someone else's clothing. Does anybody know others? I’m new at this formal correspondence behavior. "Best" is new. I borrowed that one from the Good Doctor, from our correspondence before he arrived here in New Jersey. I half-enjoy the acting like I'm someone else who speaks like this; however, I am thankful when I hear from a doctor who speaks loosely, in a language I understand. Correspondence language I add to tax language and form language--all elude me. Let us speak like people, but with a hint of formality in a formal setting so that we still know we’re appropriately respected, but not so much that we're like cut-outs flanked with many empty words so that we just show off our capacity for using many empty words and only think we’re respected.

I was just sending out "hurry your ass" e-mails to reviewers who have exceeded the deadline in their time designated for reviewing submitted manuscripts. It’s not as taxing a job as, say, Kim’s [see sidebar for link]: telling people older than me—to their faces—to hurry up with their cigarettes because they have to go to bed and not have sex with one another at ye olde clinic. I don’t see the people I harass; we communicate only electronically. I could be a 300 lb German hard-ass as far as they know. I received a response from one of the reviewers not two minutes after I sent the whip. The reviewer tells me he has finished reviewing the article, but his secretary is on vacation, so she’ll send the review next week when she returns. Now, I don’t like to be an arrogant bastard: to each his own, and I haven’t walked in this man’s shoes. But if he was going to reply anyway, why not just send the review, too? Maybe he didn’t know how. I’m not complaining. I just don’t understand. I want to understand; that is my quest in this life.

If anyone out there has any suggestions on additional ways I might sign off e-mails, please let me hear from you at your earliest convenience.

Best regards,

Sara S.

7 Comments:

Blogger cupcake said...

I tend to use a good "thank you." I'm not sure if it is all that proper, but I do it regardless. If not "thank you" then I write nothing at all. Though I do like "best" and may now incorporate it into my working persona.

4:45 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

I concur. "Best" works in a variety of situations. It doesn't feel like me, but I use it because it covers all territory of thanking, of well-wishing; it can be more personal or less personal depending on context and receiver.

7:48 PM  
Blogger cupcake said...

Dear Peter,

Thanks for a great time. Even though I didn't have an orgasm, I'm glad I got to share my herpes with someone. It really meant a lot to me.

Best,
Jessica

ps...I stole your wallet.

12:14 AM  
Blogger kim said...

"Best" is how the professor I'm kinda sorta in love with signs his emails.... aaah Michael. Best, Michael.... Swoon. Sorry Sara I'm gonna have to swoon over you now too

12:33 PM  
Blogger Lucky Jim said...

I'm partial to 'Touch Me'.


But I'm selfish.

1:06 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

It has occurred to me I could sign off "Touch me" to those less fluent in English and see what happens. I think that would really make me happy. (Is that selfish? Maybe just direct.)

3:21 PM  
Blogger Mr Anigans said...

see....there is this demon that sends out mass e-mails. now generally i ignore them...but were i to have to answer, and i signed off "touch me" she might, again. then i would have to detonate a nuclear device and remove the entire eastern seaboard.

1:43 AM  

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