Monday, May 02, 2005

Pollen Falling

Caught up in an emotional moment, reflecting on relationships, their beginnings and endings, their happenings in between and what happens to those happenings when they become memories, I began thinking about my grandma—A leap in thought, yes. That’s how I operate.—how in recent time I’ve become more open with her, seeing she is more receptive to me than I thought. I am neither china doll nor perfect angel, and it turns out she’s ok with that. Rather she redefines what these things are as I transform before her: vessels whose contents transmogrify according to who’s passing it around to pour and sip. That’s unconditional love, and sublimely so.

Tears moved into my eyes, then the music I’d put on my CD player here in the barren office loudened back into my ears: "We all live in a yellow submarine—hiiyaaa!"

Being alive is fucking weird, what with cubist juxtapositions and mighty intersections that defy physics and sense itself.

More later as spring settles in my head as my head churns and casts it back out.

4 Comments:

Blogger {illyria} said...

letting go and moving on takes almost as much of the leap of faith required in starting a relationship. how odd.

2:52 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

it's true, what you say. yes, how odd.

8:21 AM  
Blogger Mr Anigans said...

letting go and moving on takes more of a leap of faith that starting....that's my thought anyway.

5:52 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

Hm, Mr Anigans, in a way I think you might be right. I think it might be, for me anyway, just a different kind of leap to let go and move on, less painful. But I've still felt that leap in beginning, the questioning and trust and such.

7:44 AM  

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