Baskin' in the Taboo Afterglow

I’m in that part of the cycle where all my thoughts and those of others seem insignificant to me. I begin to consider a topic, like the gross overexposure of actors’ lives, and then decide it doesn’t matter and that as much gross as there is about it, there’s probably something positive about it, too. Maybe the details of the Jen and Brad’s split, exposed as they are in magazines, can teach us, the non-celebrated, about how to handle our own relationships, or how not to. Then there’s the counter-argument that they are nevertheless just people too and anyone who thinks of their relationship as some kind of model is sadly deluded and pulling a less honest human experience out of another. However, if one of the non-celebrated apes actively acknowledges that Jen and Brad are just people too and is still able to make decisions about his or her own life thoughtfully juxtaposed with the personal details of the overexposed relationship, then maybe that person really is gaining insight. That person, though, would likely draw such insights from any other relationship whether overexposed in magazines, kneaded into a novel, whatever. Jen and Brad just happen to be readily snatchable Doritos for the heart and mind. The details of their relationship, however they might influence, are fabricated and skewed. People start luscious, vicious rumors, then other people with false banners of saviorhood come out with the "truth". Thank god when we finally get the truth of their failed relationship, even though it's just predetermined guessing and vies for reward. In this way the fabricated model breeds loosely threaded disciples. This is a behemoth problem with respect to the crude display of human interaction on television. I don’t watch much television, but I see enough to draw conclusions. People outside the TV imitate the thoughtless sarcasm and needlessly dramatic relationship situations in their real lives, probably not even aware of their aping because we are unconscious malleable apes, we are. This continues and people become dumbots to exponential degrees of dronehood. First this makes me grumpy, then it makes me sad.

But what is the truth anyway but each person’s fabrication from what they perceive and/or choose to be the truth. I was thinking about this yesterday. I had been carrying on an e-mail dialogue with my grandma the whole day. When I got home, my boyfriend’s dad, who also has a continuing e-mail dialogue with my grandma, asked me very dramatically,

Did you talk to your grandma today?

Yes, I said, we’ve been e-mailing all day. We had.

Did she tell you then?

Tell me what?

She has to go to the doctor tomorrow. She failed some tests, and they need to do blood work.

Oh no, I thought. I said, No she didn’t mention it. I’ll ask her about it tomorrow. I began to wonder if this was really true, why she didn't tell me, if something was really wrong with her, why she told him and not me when we'd been talking all day.

The next day, I asked her about it. Her response: the guy was confused. She did have to talk to the doctor, but not that day--the day after that, and not about failed blood tests but something more benign. This is not the first mix-up. Recently he said my grandma had told him my dad didn’t like spicy food. The fact that my dad likes spicy food is as solid as him being male. He eats the hots until he sweats. Everybody knows it. My grandma, even though she too tends to get details confused, would never say my dad doesn’t like spicy food. I don’t mind this kind of mix-up, but I’d rather facts about my grandma’s health not get set askew. This got me thinking about what my boyfriend’s dad’s reality-scape looks like. He embellishes, but even more, he flat-out makes things up. Apparently he doesn’t realize this, although a few times I’ve caught him fabricating in the know in attempt to sway a situation one way or another. Always achingly seeking truth, I've begun calling him on it. However, sometimes I let it go. Sometimes I wonder how much I unknowingly fabricate. However much of my weave is made of flat-out falsities, I won’t know unless someone calls me on it, yet I will still act on it all as if it all were true, because it is to me. Infinite things go on under the surface in which each person’s reality-scape is rooted. Separate molecules, we can never meet. Sometimes this excites me; sometimes this makes me sad.

Below is my weekly horoscope, which I received today. Note to self: remember this one:

"When you reach the top, keep climbing." This Zen proverb is especially applicable to you, Aries. Though you may feel as if you've accomplished as much as you can for now, I assure you that even more progress is not only likely but desirable. So don't bask in the afterglow yet. Claim the once-impossible prize--even at the risk of being called greedy. In the process, you might finally break the taboo that you've been keeping a secret from yourself.

Below is an excerpt from important internet news, which in company with other jumping beans, incited the above. Note to self: must show off figure at the Globes:

Boho Uh-Oh: Who knew Natalie Portman could perform magic tricks? At the Golden Globes, she manages to make her entire figure disappear in an amorphous white tank dress that puts the "hee" in bohemian. While the "Closer" beauty's filmy Chloe flapper frock is perfect for frolicking with a bunch of Greek nymphs, it's a tragedy of epic proportions on the red carpet as the tiered, wedding dress-like hemline and wide sparkling black cummerbund overwhelm her petite frame.