Jigsaw News
In case you haven’t heard, here are the safest and most dangerous cities in America, according to Morgan Quitno Corp.
SAFEST
1. Newton, MA
2. Brick Twnshp, NJ
3. Amherst, NY
4. Mission Viejo, CA
5. Clarkstown, NY
6. Lake Forest, CA
7. Thousand Oaks, CA
8. Colonie, NY
9. Cary, NC
10. Dover Twnshp, NJ
MOST DANGEROUS
1. Camden, NJ
2. Detroit, MI
3. Atlanta, GA
4. St. Louis, MO
5. Gary, IN
6. Washington, DC
7. Hartford, CT
8. New Orleans, LA
9. Richmond, VA
10. Birmingham, AL
I don't remember where I found this next bit, but accept it as truth: Studies have revealed that cigarette smoking during pregnancy causes lower fourth-grade reading scores.
So it’s ok for women to continue smoking while pregnant as long as they don’t mind suffering through that one fourth-grade year when their children regress to illiteracy.
Bridget Jones is being seen by one of the doctors here today. I’m not supposed to talk to the outside about patients, but I think the celebrity of this name allows me sufficient ambiguity for cover-up if necessary. The surgical coordinator, whose office is next to mine, keeps saying her name without a hint of busting. I know, grow up, Sara. I can’t help it, though. Every time I hear the name outside my door I think it’s a joke. "Doctor, Beaver Cleaver is here for his CPAP f/u" or "Doctor, Harry Potter is here for his EEG."
SAFEST
1. Newton, MA
2. Brick Twnshp, NJ
3. Amherst, NY
4. Mission Viejo, CA
5. Clarkstown, NY
6. Lake Forest, CA
7. Thousand Oaks, CA
8. Colonie, NY
9. Cary, NC
10. Dover Twnshp, NJ
MOST DANGEROUS
1. Camden, NJ
2. Detroit, MI
3. Atlanta, GA
4. St. Louis, MO
5. Gary, IN
6. Washington, DC
7. Hartford, CT
8. New Orleans, LA
9. Richmond, VA
10. Birmingham, AL
I don't remember where I found this next bit, but accept it as truth: Studies have revealed that cigarette smoking during pregnancy causes lower fourth-grade reading scores.
So it’s ok for women to continue smoking while pregnant as long as they don’t mind suffering through that one fourth-grade year when their children regress to illiteracy.
Bridget Jones is being seen by one of the doctors here today. I’m not supposed to talk to the outside about patients, but I think the celebrity of this name allows me sufficient ambiguity for cover-up if necessary. The surgical coordinator, whose office is next to mine, keeps saying her name without a hint of busting. I know, grow up, Sara. I can’t help it, though. Every time I hear the name outside my door I think it’s a joke. "Doctor, Beaver Cleaver is here for his CPAP f/u" or "Doctor, Harry Potter is here for his EEG."
1 Comments:
I'm guessing that Dover could count as either dangerous large town or safest small city (kind of straddling that line there though I don't really believe in that 'city' designation for it).
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