Conquering the Ferryphobia That Never Was
Friday night was my debut performance as an actress. Friday night I drove to Cape May to take the ferry to Delaware where my friend is vacationing with her parents. I'd figured I'd have to take the last ferry at 8pm after work, but I got to the place two minutes before the earlier one took off. I parked my car, got my bags, bought tickets and boarded. When I got on the ferry, as planned, I took out my phone to call my friend to let her know I was on my way. That was when I found that I'd left her phone number in my car. I'd remembered to take everything else out of the bag I didn't bring: wallet, notebook, little bag with compact tampons just in case, cell phone. But no number. Nobody knows this number. She's a new friend so there is no previous record of this number. The only record of this number is in my car parked in the ferry lot in Cape May. I hadn't talked to her in a few days so she had no idea when I was coming (or what if I wasn't coming at all?). I had to get off that ferry.
I stood quickly and began running through the ferry in search of an employee. I knew that getting off was chancy since I'd barely made it on. At last I saw a guy dressed in the tan uniform, trying to get himself a fountain soda before the ferry took off. I stopped that short! "I have to get off this ferry," I told him. I explained in fluttering disjunctive speech. It must have been that and my worried eyes. He left to see what he could do. I was so mad at myself for leaving the number in the car.
Background info: When I get mad tears come into my eyes. It's just the way. I'm rarely as upset as I look, though most people who see me mad become tragically concerned. It must look a lot different from the outside than it feels on the inside. It's always seemed weird to me.
Shortly, my fella came back and told me to follow him. I took off after him, leaving my return ticket on the counter as I later discovered. I followed him down some stairs and into where all the cars were parked on the ferry. Cacophonous BELLS began going off as the door lifted. He said, "We can only do this in case of emergency. Ok, I said.
Just then a shiny black policeman walked to toward me and took my by my hand, cradling my arm as if I were an old lady. Weird, I thought, but I'll play along: they can only do this in case of emergency. I thought I'd better look more upset, so I contorted my face and tried to get more tears to come into my eyes. He looked at me.
"Are you ok," he asked.
"Yeah, I'm ok."
"Does this happen often?" he asked.
Weird, I thought. I had no idea what he was talking about but I didn't want to blow my cover. I tried to look traumatized and confused. "Uh..."
"These panic attacks," he clarified.
"Um, well, some...uh," I returned.
The ticket guy came sprinting toward us with my ticket. I thanked him and he left.
"Well, you go on inside and I'll be in in a few minutes to check on you," the policeman told me.
Oh my god, I thought. This is a real episode. And yet there's more.
I told him thanks, got my phone number from my car and went in. I went to the bathroom, and while I was in there I heard a voice over the intercom, which I thought said it was time to board the next ferry. So I left the bathroom, went on upstairs to the boarding area. The same ticket guy was there.
Of course, I misheard the voice over the intercom and I was way too early to board the ferry. The ticket guy explained and said, "Don't worry, you'll make this one." Oh god, I thought. "Thanks."
When the time came I gave him my ticket, and instead of being able to just get on, he escorted me on, told me again that it was going to be ok: "Don't worry, just sit in the middle and take deep breaths."
Oh my god. I told him thanks. I sat at the front of the ferry the whole time, to avoid encountering any other employees who might try and make sure I wasn't about to break down. I sat alone there, for the next hour and 20 minutes of the trip, erupting in tourettes of laughter at the thought of the policeman asking me about these panic attacks of which I supposedly have a condition.
I had deceived the whole crew. I had delayed operations. By being the odd misunderstood girl turned actress.
I stood quickly and began running through the ferry in search of an employee. I knew that getting off was chancy since I'd barely made it on. At last I saw a guy dressed in the tan uniform, trying to get himself a fountain soda before the ferry took off. I stopped that short! "I have to get off this ferry," I told him. I explained in fluttering disjunctive speech. It must have been that and my worried eyes. He left to see what he could do. I was so mad at myself for leaving the number in the car.
Background info: When I get mad tears come into my eyes. It's just the way. I'm rarely as upset as I look, though most people who see me mad become tragically concerned. It must look a lot different from the outside than it feels on the inside. It's always seemed weird to me.
Shortly, my fella came back and told me to follow him. I took off after him, leaving my return ticket on the counter as I later discovered. I followed him down some stairs and into where all the cars were parked on the ferry. Cacophonous BELLS began going off as the door lifted. He said, "We can only do this in case of emergency. Ok, I said.
Just then a shiny black policeman walked to toward me and took my by my hand, cradling my arm as if I were an old lady. Weird, I thought, but I'll play along: they can only do this in case of emergency. I thought I'd better look more upset, so I contorted my face and tried to get more tears to come into my eyes. He looked at me.
"Are you ok," he asked.
"Yeah, I'm ok."
"Does this happen often?" he asked.
Weird, I thought. I had no idea what he was talking about but I didn't want to blow my cover. I tried to look traumatized and confused. "Uh..."
"These panic attacks," he clarified.
"Um, well, some...uh," I returned.
The ticket guy came sprinting toward us with my ticket. I thanked him and he left.
"Well, you go on inside and I'll be in in a few minutes to check on you," the policeman told me.
Oh my god, I thought. This is a real episode. And yet there's more.
I told him thanks, got my phone number from my car and went in. I went to the bathroom, and while I was in there I heard a voice over the intercom, which I thought said it was time to board the next ferry. So I left the bathroom, went on upstairs to the boarding area. The same ticket guy was there.
Of course, I misheard the voice over the intercom and I was way too early to board the ferry. The ticket guy explained and said, "Don't worry, you'll make this one." Oh god, I thought. "Thanks."
When the time came I gave him my ticket, and instead of being able to just get on, he escorted me on, told me again that it was going to be ok: "Don't worry, just sit in the middle and take deep breaths."
Oh my god. I told him thanks. I sat at the front of the ferry the whole time, to avoid encountering any other employees who might try and make sure I wasn't about to break down. I sat alone there, for the next hour and 20 minutes of the trip, erupting in tourettes of laughter at the thought of the policeman asking me about these panic attacks of which I supposedly have a condition.
I had deceived the whole crew. I had delayed operations. By being the odd misunderstood girl turned actress.
1 Comments:
Remember how you are prone to fits of rage as well and you killed that puppy last weekend. That was harsh, man.
Post a Comment
<< Home